When is it okay to start dating after a divorce

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Grief is a wound that needs attention in order to heal.

To work through and complete grief means to face your feelings openly and honestly, however long it takes for the wound to heal.

One of the scariest aspects of being a divorcee is the prospect of dating again. Your inclination, therefore, is to want to connect, and perhaps even rush into re-partnering. You should wait about a year before seriously dating anyone.

You are no longer a “we” with emotional ties, exclusive commitments and promises. Like it or not, there are three important tasks you must first accomplish before you are ready to successfully enter into another serious relationship. The Grieving Process Where there is attachment and loss, there is grief.

But, the reality remains the same: you are afraid of being without a partner, you are lonely and in pain, and you feel like an outcast.

In an ideal post-divorce world, the itch to re-partner would not arise until you are actually ready to deal with it.

Check out our Guide to Online Dating to learn the basics including setting up a profile to taking a relationship offline. Kirschner says it's easy to build up a fantasy of what he is like based on his profile and the emails you exchange.

"My rule of thumb is to meet in person within two weeks of making online contact." Might as well find out as soon as you can if the chemistry is virtual — or real.

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Post-Divorce Healing and Rediscovering Your SELF,” Deborah Hecker, Ph. is a psychotherapist with over 35 years of private practice experience. In addition, she is certified as a psychoanalyst and has extensive training in the following areas: addiction counseling, grief counseling, collaborative practice and mediation.

For a couple of reasons: First, you're not putting all your eggs — or hopes — into one basket.

Second, you can compare what you like and don't like.

Grief feelings may even be contradictory, such as love and hate.

Grief hurts, so you may be inclined to try to outsmart it by re-partnering prematurely.

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