Attractive women pairing with wealthy, successful men.
More attractive women, want more successful and higher social status men; less attractive women will settle for less.
However by one partner doing so it can prompt more disclosure by the other.
By sharing you: 1) increase intimacy 2) increase sexual pleasure Important to make a distinction between intent: what the speaker means and impact: what someone else understand the speaker to mean Effective communicator can match intent with impact All couples fight.
Self-disclosure by one partners help promote it in the other partner (promote trust, due to mimicry, and to maintain equality)Sex is love? The Triangular Theory of Love (Sternberg): Intimacy (emotional closeness), Passion (sexual attraction/ sexual expression), and Decision/ commitment (decision to be in love and maintain the relationship)Attachment Theory of Love: Adults in romantic relationships are characterized by different attachment styles, based on our perceptions of ourselves as well as our expectation of how other will respond to us:1) Secure lovers ( / ): have sense of own lovability- that is accepted by other people2) Preoccupied lovers (-/ ): aware of own unlovability- positive evaluation of others.3) Dismissing ( /-): feel worthy of love; but avoid it to avoid being hurt and maintain sense of independence4) Fearful (-/-): depend on other for their loveability.
Love story theory: A story about what love should be like for us; including characters, plot, themes.
It is important to operational define all of these terms and their testability.
Love and Adrenaline Two-component Theory of love: two conditions must exist simultaneously for passionate love to occur; physiological arousal and attaching a cognitive label of love.
5:1 Magic Ratio of positive to negative verbal/ non-verbal behaviour. Set of rules designed to make argument constructive rather than destructive. Gender differences in communication are relatively small and both parties regardless of gender should be able to communicate their feelings/ problems.
Problem is, the person may be wrong and this will only promote conflict.
Documenting: another important component of giving good message; you giving specific examples of the issue.
Often focus on what your partner is saying and feeling and don’t immediately become defensive, or counterattack with complains of your own. Non-verbal communication: communication not through words, but through the body (e.g eye contact, tone of voice, touching)Validating: telling your partner that, giving her point of view, you can see why he or she thinks a certain way.
Drawing out your partner: Checking out assumption rather than mind-reading to help fix a problem.